You remember when, sometime in eighth grade, your science teacher put on a movie instead of teaching and you ended up watching sperm race up the cervix to the classic soundtrack of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture?
I know a few minds from which that image has never left.
But sperm are special. They are their own cells, they have their own mind, and they can literally smell when an egg is released. They pack half the building blocks needed for human life! But not everyone wants to get pregnant… So, here are some new ways to use sperm!
Invisible Ink:
Apparently, there was a lot of excitement in the British Intelligence during the first World War, because they discovered perhaps the strangest of ways to use sperm. While researching for invisible inks, someone had the great idea to write secret messages in semen. Apparently, semen was undetectable with the common methods, but as we know, it reacts to UV lights. The plan went through many stages, and seemed practical. So, if you don’t mind a little bit of a smell, you could write some very special love letters.
Stomach Pains:
Sperm has been used in history to soothe stomach pains, but there actually seems to be some science behind it. When your stomach lining has been damaged, a dose of sperm may be helpful. The stomach heals with a decent blood flow, and the prostaglandins and oxytocin in sperm can help encourage that. Misoprostol, an anti-ulcer drug, acts the same way. But don’t swap your medicine cabinet out just yet. Painkiller duty may be one of the many ways to use sperm, but it won’t cure what ails you.
Increases Mental Concentration:
College students rejoice! Swallowing stimulates your memory and concentration. It may have something to do with the power each swimmer has, or similar to like stomach pains, blood flow through the body really helps. Especially to the brain. Cerebral blood flow increases your ability to retain information, and focus on getting that midterm taken care of.
Cooking:
Yeah, cooking can be a little nuts, it seems. John’s little swimmers pack a lot of protein, and the word around campus is that they add a little something extra to the culinary world. You can use semen in a few fun things, including sushi, or some very adult alcoholic beverages. I suppose to be safe you’d have to get tests done on your chosen donations, but if you want to check out some spunky recipes, you can peruse this site, or look for Fotie Photenhauer’s cookbook, “Natural Harvest.”
Guess this brings a new meaning to the phrase “got a bun in the over.”
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4 New Ways to Use Sperm
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