Weasel Balls
Balls would seem like the last thing to help keep pregnancy away. But this ancient birth control method from the Dark Ages was commonly used for those hoping to keep the babies away. Women would make a special garter to be worn around their thighs, with the testicles dangling. The superstition was spread by magicians, who often did give medical advice. Our magicians today are not the same as they were in the Dark Ages. They would travel and gather donations for performing miracles, or actually even practicing medicine. So, getting your birth control advice from one isn’t that weird. It’s just the advice itself that is.
Beaver Balls
Yup, the ball keeps moving. But this method is from 16th Century Canada, not the Dark Ages. From what I can piece together, a beaver’s testicles were dried and then ground into a fine powder. Mixed with very strong moonshine, the concoction was drunk, though whether by the man or the woman (or both) could be debated. This ancient contraceptive is even stranger than the use of weasel balls, because one would actually consume the balls in this case. Up until this point, I have only heard of testicles being ingested for virility. I wonder how well this ancient birth control method worked…
Iron and Gin
This one is a little more modern, most likely used in the 19th century. When people were downing mercury and morphine to cure their ailments, a common birth control was a shot of gin with flecks of iron in it. The drink may have had the desired results, but at the cost of iron poisoning, and a stiff hang over. Iron has a very high toxicity, and can leave lasting effects. So, please: This is no Goldschläger.
Opium
The list of ancient contraceptive methods is becoming more grim, don’t you think? Women would make a diaphragm of opium paste and push it up their vaginal canal, up against the cervix. This is how a modern diaphragm works… but thank goodness modern ones aren’t laced with opium.
Blacksmith Water
Oh yes, as if opium wasn’t a big enough issue, try imagining drinking the sludge from a blacksmith’s shop. This ancient birth control can be traced back to ancient Greece. The method works, to the point that the toxic water left over is known to cause sterility. So, I guess the women who used this ancient contraceptive method found that it worked, though maybe not exactly how they had hoped.
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5 Ancient Contraceptive Methods That Will Make You Cringe
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