The idea of travelling with one’s partner almost has a glamourous notion to it. Long walks on the beach hand in hand followed by lazy nights with infinite cocktails watching the sun set. It can give you the warm and fuzzies just thinking about it. However for anyone who has actually travelled* with their partner they will very likely be able to attest to just how challenging and unromantic it is. They say the two biggest tests of a relationship are whether you are able to live with one another and travel with one another for very good reason. The man/woman you adore very quickly can become the source of all your anguish. I mean, why your partner insists on turning down the only taxi available when you have been in transit for days over a few dollars might just be enough to send you crazy! With this in mind here are my own personal pointers to keep you sane whilst travelling with your beloved.
Discuss budget prior to arrival
Depending on how long you are have been together or how you manage your finances there is a good chance that your monies are somewhat separate. When you are working and have a regular income your spending habits are very different to when you are travelling. Perhaps you have a budget you need to stick to or perhaps you want to splurge because you have worked hard for this time off and don’t want to miss a thing. Whatever your path is, ensure that your partner is on board with your spending habits. Nothing turns a day sour quicker than arguing at every point of sale due to differences in budget or beliefs about the value of something. Especially when backpacking, making daily decisions about costs of accommodation, transport and food can escalate into big differences of opinion. My partner (bless him) puts a very high worth on value for money whilst my priority is comfort. We would compromise by taking it in turns to choose accommodation and meals and accepted that we will probably never actually agree with one another on the value of anything!
Spend some time apart
When in your life would you spend 24 hours of every day with your partner? No matter how close you are you can never be fully prepared to increase contact hours to 100% of your time. Not only is it helpful but it’s healthy for your relationship and sense of self to spend some time apart. No doubt you have some interests that your partner doesn’t share. Take half a day to do something of interest to you and meet some new people. New conversation can be very refreshing and leaves both parties feeling a little more revived and ready to continue on together. I mean there is only so much you can talk about when you have spent such an intense amount of time with one person. Some time out will be very welcomed and you may even find that the absence has made the heart grow fonder!
Make the time for some sexy time
Make the time? But surely travelling together means a completely fulfilling and heightened sex life? Wrong. Dorm rooms, food poisoning, long days in transit, shared bathrooms and general fatigue. Nothing kills the mood quicker than hearing your partner deal with their food poisoning or arguing all day because you are both tired and irritable. There will be days where strangling your partner will feel much more desirable than making love (sorry but its true!). Try taking some time apart or doing separate activities and meet up in the evening for a meal. Basically go on a date with one another and make the effort to organize some sexy time, especially if you are finding that part of your relationship is on hiatus. If you aren’t having troubles in this department – more power to you!
Involve yourself in group activities
So maybe spending time apart from your partner just isn’t your thing. Try involving yourselves in group activities or tours. This gives you both the chance to meet other people whilst still spending time together. You may even make some friends that you can then catch up with as a couple again during your travels. This gives you much needed space, without actually taking space. Win win!
Accept each other
There is nothing more important than accepting one another as you are. Perhaps you have learnt a great deal more about your partner and how they deal with new situations, how their moods change and have a greater insight into what makes them tick. Remembering that spending large amounts of time together in new and stressful environments will always be challenging as a couple and to embrace what you have learnt about one another. If you have made it through, chances are you have one hell of a strong relationship and that’s an achievement in itself!
*Please note this article refers to travelling with a partner long term and not simply holidaying together. Though both have their challenges.
How To Travel With Your Partner and Stay Sane
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