The Chinese banquette. If you come to China on business, it’s likely inevitable. When you walk through the door, you’re just as much entering a potential cultural minefield as you are a dining hall. And you’re probably going to be navigating that minefield under the influence, perhaps heavily so. Consider this your handy field guide containing the seven most important cultural niceties to be aware when imbibing amongst your Chinese friends and colleagues. Trust me, there are more – always more – but these are the crucial things that will earn you a lot of respect as a foreign guest if you adhere to them. Brush up on your Chinese drinking etiquette…
1) Seating Arrangement
It begins before you even sit down. The most important person there will take a seat at the head of the table opposite the door. The archaic reason for this is because it is the safest position in the room as the head honcho has a clear view of whoever enters. Today, simply so that he won’t be disturbed by the servers coming and going. The guest of honor (possibly you) will usually sit beside the boss. From there, guests of descending importance are seated on each side of the table until you get to the shitty seat, the seat with the back to the door. Several people are eligible for this seat. Sometimes a supporting host will sit here. If the host has a well-known rival (or enemy), they will sit there. Sometimes people will fight over this seat to be the guy that simply sits there so nobody else has to, hence giving respect and gaining some face.
2) The Toast
Toasts are an important and frequent component of any Chinese banquet. Just as your glass is the vessel for transporting baijiu to your unsuspecting body, a good toast is the vessel that carries good will, respect and face to your host. Speaking of, the main man will make the first toast, mainly addressing the whole table but will probably spend some attention on the guest. If the host is toasting with baijiu – a high-proof and usually foul rice liquor – you should do the same. It is impolite, for example, to drink beer when someone is extending a glass of the hard stuff. Next, the host may toast individuals or groups by level of importance. Once this is done, everyone else will make their own toasts to the host, the guest and everyone else – you guessed it – by level of importance. It is not uncommon for people to leave their seats for this. When someone is toasting you or vice-versa, you should always maintain eye contact, otherwise you will be perceived as uninterested and rude.
3) Ganbei
Maybe you’ve heard that “ganbei” is Mandarin for “cheers”. That’s correct, sort of. It is very, VERY important that you plan carefully before taking your first drink. As the guest, what you drink and how much you consume on the first toast is being duly noted by most everyone around you. You are effectively setting the tone for the evening, and everyone will try to match the amount you drink so as to both show respect and maintain adequate face levels. Keeping that in mind, if you say “Ganbei!” – which literally means “dry glass” – and down an entire glass of baijiu, you’ll be setting yourself up for an interesting evening. Read: waking up in the floor beside your bed completely naked with no recollection of how you got there.
4) Clinking Glasses
This is important! When you reach your glass in for a cheers, don’t be alarmed when everyone fights to make sure their glass is not above any other glass. Cheersing someone below the rim of their glass is a sign of giving respect. I’m sure a lot of people would disagree, but as a foreign guest, I think making this gesture toward your host or just letting them win are both okay. They will be thrilled that you even know about this cultural quirk. The best option is having a little battle and letting them win in the end. If you know someone is a leader in some way, it’s best to pay tribute. If you’re too far away to actually clink glasses, it is acceptable to tap the bottom of your glass on the glass lazy Susan (rotating glass disc) commonly at the center of the table.
5) Lighting Cigarettes
Almost every gesture on a Chinese night out is interwoven with face, if you haven’t guessed already. Such is with having a smoke. It’s simple; you and your buddies take out your cigs (likely already provided at your table, along with several bottles of baijiu) and light up. Cultural faux pa alert! You’re in China buddy, and in China, you light the cigarette of your superior, elder, etc before lighting your own. Most of the time, they will offer to light yours after lighting theirs. And if you were wondering, yes, there will be so much smoking indoors that you’ll think you’re at a beekeeping convention and no one will think anything of it (except you, probably).
6) Talking to Someone’s S.O.
So you meet someone in a bar back in the States and strike up an interesting conversation. Their significant other happens to be there, so naturally you try to include them in the conversation as well. I’m going to stop trying to avoid pronouns now because the simple fact of the matter is that – when it comes to China – I’m talking about girlfriends and wives. It is considered very rude to talk to someone else’s wife unless explicitly invited to. You’ll likely be introduced to her and not speak another word the whole evening. Of course, the average Westerner will think this is repressive behavior because, well, it kind of is. But I’ve seen fights nearly break out over someone talking to a Chinese guy’s girlfriend, so it’s better to take off the social justice warrior cape for the evening if you don’t fancy fisticuffs.
7) Paying the Bill
In China, going Dutch is unheard of. An individual always covers the bill for the other guests and this is actually considered an honor. An honor to be fought over, sometimes very literally. If this is a large business banquette hall, the meal is likely comped by someone’s company. If you’re in a restaurant, however, you should definitely make an offer to pay although, as a guest, you won’t be expected to. If the meal is expensive, maybe offer two or three times. Several others will probably offer as well, and you might catch an entertaining show of several tactics, such as claiming to need the toilet and sneaking over to pay, shoving money in each other’s faces and literally wrestling to pay the bill. The best thing to do in the situation is to give in to the most important guy there and let him pay so that he can achieve maximum face levels.
“But, I don’t drink…”
Too bad, so sad, somebody call the wammmmmmbulance. You do tonight. If you don’t drink at a Chinese banquette, then you’re going to be pretty much viewed as an outcast. Teetotalers are seen as boring, weird and perhaps untrustworthy. Pretty much the way I view them. If you’re there on business, trying to secure some type of deal or something, then you stand a very low chance of making that happen if you don’t pick up a glass. So, after the complicated spiderweb of drinking etiquette that I’ve woven above, here is the last very simple rule: YOU. MUST. DRINK.
No, you can’t drink water and still adhere to Chinese drinking etiquette:
Chinese Drinking Etiquette
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